ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
Basic plot of every Star Trek episode:
Kirk: I’m gonna go do the thing
Spock: It is illogical to go do the thing
McCoy: Goddammit Spock stop being so—
Spock: *insert sass here*
McCoy: *insert more sass here*
Kirk: *goes and does the thing*
Spock and McCoy: *still sassin around*
Chekov: *explains how sass was invented in Russia*
Sulu: *sass engaged at warp speed*
Scotty: THE SHIP CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE SASS CAPTAIN.
the brazilian wandering spider’s venom can give you an erection lasting for hours
girl are you the sun because i have a hard time looking at you directly and you make me sweat a lot
I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t my favorite pic on the Internet
we at it again i literally have stared at this picture for hours
jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a ♡ pale blog ♡ of water
this is probably the only sex gif i will every reblog, because for some reason i feel like it’s more than just sex. i don’t know if it’s how they’re actually looking at one another or the way they can’t get close enough. he’s actually looking at her like a person and not just a sex object.
but then again, it could be all in my head. i mean, this is how i would want it to be. but that’s just me.
I am so confused. Like is this the wrong gif paired with the text? or are you analyzing it as a sex gif or what i dont know.
it’s a joke. the joke is that there is an incongruity between the text, which is an actual description of a sex gif i have copied and pasted, and the actual image. the juxtaposition is humorous because it is unexpected and ridiculous; not only for the obvious lack of sex between pooh and his target, but also because of lines such as “[…] how they’re actually looking at one another or the way they can’t get close enough.” this example is in direct opposition with the action of the .gif: pooh and the man are in the beginnings of a physical altercation, there is no intimacy here. they are looking at each other with fear on one end and aggression on the other, and if they were to be able to get “close enough,” it would lead pooh to strike this man with the bat. i hope this helps and that you are able to laugh at my joke. please laugh at my jokes.
lay nudes at my gravestone, not flowers. flowers will wither away, but a bomb ass booty is forever